Corridor conversations

I realise that I'm just being annoyed at nothing again, but this particular nothing has been bothering me for years, ever since I first started working in an office environment way back in 1989.

I usually spot instances of it whilst on my way somewhere - toilet, canteen, refectory, library - it doesn't really matter. The important thing is that I'm in transit. And I will spot them - two people who until relatively recently were obviously also in transit - sometimes one of them might be halfway through a door, another might be carrying a cup of coffee. But their transit has been interrupted by the fact that they've found something to talk about.

Now of course there's nothing wrong with this so far. Seeing someone whilst on your way somewhere might remind you of something you had to say to them; instead of putting it off and possibly forgetting, it makes sense to pause in your travels and get it off your chest.

The annoying thing starts when I'm on my way back from somewhere - toilet, canteen, refectory, library, wherever. It can sometimes be quite a few minutes later and they're still at it, halfway through a door, coffee slowly cooling in its mug. I can just about forgive this, however. It becomes intolerable when I pass them again on my way somewhere else - toilet, canteen, refectory, library, wherever - still in the same positions, still droning on. And then again on my way back. And sometimes this goes on for what seems like hours, my rage slowly building.

For god's sake Get A Room! If it's that important a conversation surely you can go and sit down somewhere and have it?

Ten times worse though is when I find myself trapped in one of these corridor converations. And it's then that I realise that half the people perpetrating this annoyance are actually blameless, being held against their will...

Popular posts from this blog

Talking shit

Image
One of the things people say about me is that I'm quiet. Sometimes this is a criticism, other times not. I've already explained that part of the reason for this is because I find small talk difficult . Well, not just difficult, I find it pointless. If there's something worth discussing, I'm quite capable of amputating the hindquarters of a member of Equus africanus asinus with my garrulousness. Some people just can't help themselves though. As Douglas Adams once said " if they don't keep exercising their lips, their brains start working ". I usually come across them whilst I'm out and about, on public transport or in shops. You can hardly call it eavesdropping; to avoid overhearing these types you really have to be listening to Napalm Death on your iPod. Its incredible just how much you can overhear without picking up any genuine content. It's all filler, conversational fluff designed to prevent the other person getting a word in edgeways and
Read more

The Invisible Sign

Image
For a long time I was conviced that I was simply rubbish at life. Throw me into a social situation with a whole bunch of humans and I didn't have the first idea how to even begin to attempt to join in. People would seem to collapse into these stable little groups of two or three leaving me floating around like a stray electron. Against my best instincts I often tried attaching myself to these groups but joining in with the conversation was impossible. Besides, I really felt like I was interrupting. It was rude . Even if I did dare to say something I'd get odd looks. I still consider my crowning achievement in this Biggest Outsider Challenge to be when I ended up spending time standing around on my own at the very bash being held for me leaving a job I'd been in for 16 years... Now that was impressive. Of course well-intentioned people kept telling me to try harder, giving me tips and tricks, but nothing really seemed to work. I'd hear variations of "We all feel aw
Read more

The Most Effectual Top Cat

Image
Thinking back to my earliest memories, I recall myself as having been surprisingly (mentally) articulate even as a very young child. Perhaps what I was thinking wasn't necessarily in adult English or even in words but it was still recognisably me doing the thinking, exactly the same person, the same mind that is doing the typing now.  Particularly recognisable is the way things use to puzzle and bother me, in exactly the same way then as now. Why was Fred Flintstone ordering a deckchair to be delivered to his car , and what was the deal with Top Cat? Firstly it bugged me that he was called Boss Cat in the Radio Times and on the TV continuity announcements but that in the theme tune and throughout the show he was Top Cat or TC. My mother did explain that this was because the BBC didn't allow advertising and that there was already a brand of cat food called "Top Cat", but this explanation didn't stand up to scrutiny for me. If this was the case, why didn't
Read more